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Chapter 11…. A New Year, A Baby Boy, and A New Career

So here we are in a new year I have a new son a new job but nothing seem to make a difference in my life. harry continued to come and go, leaving me with the kids and the bills. And I continued to go to work and do whatever I had to do to take care of my children and myself.
I was still having problems on the job with the people. Having servers not help me, go behind my back, and mess up my side work.. there was one server in particular named Gary, and it seemed that after everyone else had been getting into trouble for doing little dirty things to me, I guess he felt that it was his turn. I would go to work, and when certain ones in the click were there they would not give me any help. Gary was a weightlifter I think, and every time I would go to go out of a door with a tray of food he would slam right into me and say things like ” you need to watch where you’re going” or dang didn’t you see me coming in”? I knew that I was really getting sick of this mess, and I also knew that I needed this job to take care of my kids. So I did what I had to do to keep the job. I was really doing well on the job making lots of money as well as friends with lots of the guest.
We had finally ran out of chances for getting behind on the house payment and the people took us to court tor foreclose.. The judge gave us ninety days to pay the notes up or move so in April we moved into a small three bedroom house in Buena Vista. I didn’t mind the move besides I was really frustrated with all the negative attention being drawn to my family every time the police had to come there.
We moved and settled in in fact even bought new furniture. And again I thought OK maybe we can make it work. Well that didn’t last very long Harry was right back leaving and stuff before too long. We had broken up in June and the sad thing was is that his mother had died. I recall that being the first time his family ever contacted him since we had gotten married. I wondered what was going on because Harry was gone, and no one told me anything. I read in the newspaper that his mother had passed away. I also read everything in the obituary about his x girlfriend and Ted’s girlfriend being apart of the family but there was no mention what so ever about me being her only daughter -in-law.
Harry came home shortly after his mother passed, and I did everything I could to comfort him in his time of bereavement. Also it seemed his sisters and brother did all they could to aggravate the situation by telling him supposedly that he should be back with Debra and saying that she still loved him very much. We went through a lot after that.
From the funeral; to the time we went to court, to have his mothers estate probated.. During the funeral time they had some family come in from out of town, and it appeared that they had already vexed their mind’s with negative thoughts about me, because some of his aunts, and uncles were making somewhat rude comments to us; or they would just outright ignore us as if we weren’t even there. One of them even made a comment to Harry about how much his daughter Shaneen by Debra looked like him. ” Boy you really spit that one out! “
I resented what they were doing because I was his wife, and we had his children as well. The day we went to the funeral home to view his mothers body was even a joke. Seems his sisters was making this big thing out of the fact that I was at there with Harry, and they did not feel that I should be allowed to view their mothers body. The mortician had to finally tell them that unless they stopped all that nonsense, he was gonna have to ask them to take their mothers body to another funeral home. He even told them they were wrong for omitting my name, being I was her only daughter in law.
Finally Harry and I decided that we didn’t need to view the body, and were about to leave. The man said no you, and your wife have every right to view Ms Ora’s body, and with that said after his family came out we were allowed to go in.
The funeral was even worse. They made a big deal about not wanting me to ride in the funeral car, and finally Harry said well if my wife is not welcome then I don’t want to ride with them, and we drove in the procession in our own hoopty.
It was really sad, because the funeral didn’t appear to be somber like you would expect a funeral of your mothers to be. It seems that lots had been said and all eyes appeared to be on us and our children when we walked in. Debra even had the nerve to walk up to Harry and hug him and totally ignore that I was even there, after the people walked by to pay their last respects to the family. Even at the grave site they stood apart from us as if we were the reason Harry’s mother had died. Well I knew that was not hardly the case because even though Harry would not go visit his mother I did, and some of the conditions they had her living in was just terrible.
I recall going to visit his mother one evening, and trying to figure out what she was trying to say or show me when she kept muttering something and reaching for her arm. When I finally noticed what she was showing me her arm was swollen from the circulation being cut off from her gowns elastic being too tight around her wrist. I told Ted and he snapped at her when he said “why didn’t you just say it was too tight dayumm”. I thought as I left, this is a shame the way they feed her in the middle of the night and sit her in the same room with them, while they drank, and talked loud. Cussing as if she is not even in the room. But no matter what I told Harry he still made a point of staying away from them and her, and I thought it was very sad that the only time he had seen his mother in them two years was on her death bed.
Well needless to say the fight was on when it came time to probate her estate. And the fact that Debra had continued to live in the house on Maplewood according to what his sisters and his brother thought was right, was gonna make going through the probating of his mothers estate another challenge. But as a result of his mother not having a will, the property had to be probated in order for Harry to try to get his house back. So I said ” well honey let the fight begin cause if your mother had of intended for it to be any other way she would have had a will!”
As the procedure was going on Harry hired the attorney to represent the family and was willing to pay all the expenses noting that all he wanted was his house returned to him.. But his family was determined not to let that happen and they in turn hired the now Judge Terry Clark to represent them against Harry.
Harry’s attorney thought that was very ridiculous being that he was qualified to represent the entire family, and for them to hire someone else would just complicate a situation that really should not have had to be that complicated. But it went on. In fact the more Harry tried to stand his ground about wanting to get his house back; his sisters and brother was very adamant about him not getting anything as long as he was with me.
Seems they made me the heavy why I don’t know because prior to marrying him the only one I really knew was Ted and we had gotten along well up till we got married. Finally during the early proceedings Harry said just forget it and let them have everything. He was so afraid of them that he was willing to just let them do whatever they wanted to him, and as a result he was back beating on me. The challenge went on for awhile and so did the fighting between us.
The fighting between Harry and his family went on for about a year during which time I continued to work, and tried my best to keep the family together, and to keep Harry encouraged; and off my back.
I went about the usual things as far as taking care of the children all while he continued to come and go.
I had dropped the proceedings on the first divorce something I now wish I had never done, because it seemed every month or two I was back at the friend of the court trying to get child support started cause of his coming and goings.
The year is now 1988 and this year came in with all kinds of things happening. Harry had left us in November of 87 and I was struggling to keep myself together and also provide some type of decent Christmas for the kids.
Laura Ann had stopped by to my surprise and she asked me if I could give her the kids clothing sizes saying that she wanted to get them something for Christmas. I gave her the information, but still I couldn’t help but to wonder what was with the sudden change of attitude being that Harry was not there, and they had never treated me or the kids like family.
I had again filed for a divorce this time I was being represented by Michael Marsh. I filed because I was growing increasingly leery and afraid of Harry, and I knew that I could not continue to count on his empty promises of he was not gonna leave us again. Continually doing just that! In fact it was becoming clear that every time he was scheduled to get a bonus or some type of increase in his pay he would take the money and go away.
With his Vacation check he went and bought a Blazer without my having any knowledge of it. The way I found out was at work Deltrich had came over and said she saw Harry driving a new blazer, and thought it was very nice. After I got off work I went by the plant and sure enough, there was a BIG RED Blazer parked in the spot Harry always parked in.
I thought he has a lot of nerve, here I was busting my butt to take care of the kids and also nurse my cut eye as a result of another one of his needed tactics to get away, and he has the nerve to buy a new blazer. He stayed gone that time about a month and I really think what bought him back was the fact that he felt guilty for all the dirt he had been doing, and he had attempted to file his income taxes, and end up owing the IRS. He was apparently not getting all the satisfaction he thought being single, and non responsible would bring.
To my surprise though that year he bought me for the first time since I married him a birthday gift, and a rather nice gift I might add. He bought me a new car, and he also sent me a big bouquet of flowers and balloons to my job. Again I found myself believing that this would be the start of something good, but coupled with the fact that I again stopped receiving child support, and Harry was now kidnapping and hiding my car. The abuse continued.
This summer was very hard because in addition to having three children of my own I had recently gotten custody of my sisters kids. Harry vowed to be beside me but he was gone by June and I was struggling really hard to take care of all the children, and to take care of myself, and deal with all the BS still going on at the job. As a result I ended up on sick leave for most of the summer.
Anyway in Sept of 88 Harry was awarded exclusive rights to his home on Maplewood, and shortly after that he was back home with me and asking me if I would start the eviction proceedings against Debra claiming he thought she would have had sense enough to have been moved.
I did start the proceedings and even accompanied Harry to the hearing and listened confoundedly as Debra told the Judge that Harry had told her that he was not gonna put her out and that she had kids by him and could not believe that he would evict his own kids, she also said that she was now looking for a place to move. At no point did Harry say anything to the judge on his own behalf or on behalf of his wife of 3 years or our children, or the fact that we were paying 270.00 in rent and Debra was only paying I believe some $125.00 and was behind on the payments some 3 months already, or that she was receiving child support.
Well I thought ” this shit is really getting sickening” Harry was obviously telling me one thing and telling Debra and god knows who else something different. Anyway the judge gave her a month to move, and we left the court with her giving me and Harry a nasty look. We went home and talked for a long time. Harry was saying he didn’t feel bad about her having to move and claimed that he did not tell her anything like that. He said that he did call and tried to work something out with her but he said that she told him to F*CK OFF and that she would move when she got ready too!
Well the time had come for her to move. Finally I thought maybe if Harry could get back into his own surroundings maybe just maybe we could get on with our marriage which up till now had been a total disaster. Well that was short lived. Debra did move out. She was out the house on Oct 31st, and I was at home still packing and making arrangements to have the utilities cut off and other things. We were set to move on Nov. 3rd, but that did not happen. It appears Harry had other plans. I had noticed that as the time was getting closer Harry appeared to become very distant and quiet, but silly me I thought it was all the excitement of his ” NOW I can finally take care of my wife and family ” thoughts.
Well it seems Harry had other plans. He got up claiming he was going to have the utilities transferred but when he came back it was something entirely different. He came in and handed me a receipt saying that he had paid the utility bill and that he intended to pay the water bill. He also provided money for the support of the children. ” What” I said wondering what the hell was going on…
” Well I decided that I want to move in the house by myself” he said oh and when did you decide this” I asked looking at him squarely in the eyes. ” I been decided this” he said starting to move towards the bedroom. I followed him still asking him what the hell is going on and why was he doing this to us again?
He said very little as he gathered up his clothes and put them in the blazer. ” oh and you don’t have to worry I am not gonna take the car from you” he said. I said ” I know dayum well you not taking my car nor are you taking anything other then your clothes out of this house”.
After he had packed up all his belongings he came in the living room and started to take the stereo. ” oh no you not taking nothing else out of here” I said ” oh umm taking my stereo ” ” No you not ” I yelled and the fight was on!
I called the police, and told him he best take what he had and go head on. I told him that he was not leaving us with nothing like he normally did and that I was not gonna continue starting over and over. The police arrived and he went on this charade claiming that I had told him to leave, and that all he wanted was his stuff. I told the officers both of which were female that I was tired of his games and that I had already filed for divorce and that he could not take anything out of my house until the divorce had a chance to be settled.
At that point the officers told Harry to leave, and he went into attack mode. He snatched for the stereo receiver and I grabbed the handle of it. The officers told him to let it go but he refused and kept trying to snatch it from me! After struggling for what seemed like hours he finally let the receiver go and went out the house. Later that day while I was cleaning up the house Harry returned cussing, and screaming claiming if I didn’t let him in he was gonna kick the door down. I called the police back, and they came telling him again that he was not getting anything other then what he had taken earlier they told him that if he came back that he was gonna go to jail.
The officers left and I got on the phone and had called Laine and asked her to come over. She got there just prior to Harry coming back again claiming that if I didn’t open the M*tha F*cking door he was gonna kick it in. I called the police again but when they got there he was gone. They left saying that if they find him he is going to jail cause they are not gonna continue to come over here.
They came back about 5 minutes later claiming that Harry told them that I had fired my pistol at him and saying they needed to verify that I had not in fact shot the gun. I told them that I had not done anything, and that I was afraid that if they took the gun that he would come back and hurt me.
They told me to show them the gun and if it had not been fired that I didn’t have to worry about them taking it. I showed them the gun, and after confirming that I had not fired the gun they gave it back, saying that I should make sure I keep it out the reach of the children. I took and put the gun in the kitchen cabinet as they were leaving, again they said they were gonna tell Harry not to come here and if he did he was going to jail.
Well they had not left more then 2 minutes and Harry was right back beating on the door this time screaming ” B*tch Umm gone kill you” and obscenities to that affect. I ran in the kitchen and grabbed the gun while Laine got on the phone with the dispatcher. They were telling her to tell me not to shoot the gun, and telling her the police were on the way and saying they could hear everything going on including when Harry kicked the door in screaming ” shoot B*tch shoot you coward A** B*tch” I was screaming for him to get out, get out when he came running in the door towards me.
I fired the gun, and let out a scream when he fell backwards out the door. I thought I had shot him and I ran towards the door thinking he would be laying there bleeding to death. When I got to the door Harry was standing in the driveway screaming ” Yeah uh huh now B*tch you going to jail yeah you going to jail” at that point I just lost it and began shooting the gun at him again. He jumped over the fence and ran behind the house, and I ran around the house and fired as he leaped over the neighbors fence. Just as I was going back in the house Harry appeared on the other side of the house still screaming ” you going to Jail you coward a** B*tch” I went in the house still somewhat shocked and very afraid when the police pulled up again. They came in the house and asked me where was the gun. I told them and they said ” We told you not to let him force you to do this” they got the gun and told me that I was under arrest and handcuffed me, they also told me that Harry was also being arrested outside and that they were going to charge him with spousal abuse.
They took me down to the police station and they were asking me what happened. I told them and they were saying that was all he wanted you to do. They told me that I would not be getting my gun back and maybe I should consider going to a shelter for protection. I told them that I was tired of being afraid of him, and that I was proud of myself for finally standing up to him.
The officers were very compassionate and told me that whatever I do please do not tell the judge that I was trying to hurt him when I fired the gun. After being there about an hour they came and told me that I was not gonna be charged with anything but that I could NOT get my gun back. They said that I didn’t have anything to worry about tonight that Harry was being taken to jail, but still I should consider going to a shelter.
When I got home I went looking for the kids, Nookie had left earlier when the fighting began and she had taken little Harry with her. I finally found her over Elaine Young’s house. I took them home, and after that I finished cleaning the house I put the kids to sleep and went to bed myself praying that Harry would not come back during the night, and beat me again.