WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN NETWORK RADIO
Chapter 13***Where is the Family Support
I moved in with Mommy and Archie and by all indications at first it appeared that I had finally made a good decision. Mommy seemed to be happy to help out with the kids, making sure they were settled in and that they were comfortable. Mommy appeared to be concerned about what we had been thru and she talked to me saying that we were welcome to stay as long as we needed too.
The days started to go by at a rapid pace. I was working and starting to feel pretty having made the move and about being divorced. I had started to think about what I needed to do as far as finding us a place of our own, and after looking in the newspaper I happened to call a man that would play a key role in helping me to determine whether I wanted to continue to be a renter or attempt to become a home owner.
I made an appointment to see this man, and after convincing myself that he was out to make a dollar I took some of the information he gave me, and decided to follow up with some reputable mortgage companies. I called a company and made an appointment to go and see if I could qualify to become a possible homeowner, and it was there that I got my first chance at deciding if I wanted to go it alone.
The man told me that it was based on credit, and the fact that I did not have any credit established was almost as bad as not having any credit at all. The next thing I did was call a bank, and I asked them questions about how to get some credit started. I already had some credit cards, so that would help me in securing some other type of loan. I talked to the man about getting a line of credit other then a car. And he told me that it was likely that I would not be able to get any credit without having some type of collateral. I asked him what were some types of collateral and after he told me well I knew I didn’t have anything to work with. So what I did was ask a hypothetical, and that was if I had lets say some money already in the bank and I wanted to borrow some more could I use the money I already had as collateral, he said yes, and so I from that point I made an appointment to apply for a $1,000.00 loan.
I went into the bank and was approved for the loan, but the problem was, was that I didn’t have the so called 500.00 in the bank. I had asked Archie if he could lend me the money, but he said no. So still determined I went on to the bank. Well it all worked out good , because I borrowed the $1,000.00 and used $500.00 of it as collateral.
So I went from having no money til now having $500.00 in hand and $500.00 in the bank. The next thing I did was call the mortgage company and made the appointment to go get pre-qualified, after passing that I set out on the task of finding a home to buy. Now all this time everything had been going fine with Mommy, but when I went and told her that I had gotten pre-qualified for a home, and that I had secured the loan from the bank she seemed to become very unconcerned. She made comments like well that is all fine and good but where do you plan on coming up with the $3,000 or $4,000 dollars you will need to close on a mortgage? I told her that it would be a lot easier if she could maybe lend me some money, and if she would let me pay her for babysitting after I got moved instead of giving her money daily like I had been doing for the past 2 weeks.
She assured me that she had no money to lend me, and she also made it clear that she would not be able to keep the kids unless I continued to pay her. Well that surely made things a lot harder because not only did I somehow have to find a way to come up with the money for whatever house I found I also had to continue paying her for babysitting , gas and for food.
Well anyway I didn’t let that stop me. A few days later I found a house and used the 500.00 I had in hand to put a down payment on the purchase agreement. I went to work nights as a waitress, and I continued with increased hours to work days, as a hostess.
By all indications I was doing fine until on April 25th. I was at work and I received a call from a detective saying, he wanted my opinion on what sentence Harry should receive for his having assaulted me on April 3rd when I left him.
I told the detective that I had not filed charges, and I had gotten on with my life, and was not interested in pursuing any charges against him. After I got off work that evening I went home got the kids to take them to the park, for awhile. On the way we stopped at a street light and that’s when Harry rode up along side of the car on his bike. At first I was somewhat scared, but then silly me I thought he’d be happy to see his children so I sat there.
He came up on the drivers side of the car, and after screaming about me having pressed charges and demanding that I drop them he hit me in the face. For a second I was in shock ; and had not really felt the pain of the blow! But when I looked in the rear view mirror what I saw to my face shocked me, and crushed any hopes of ever reconciling with him. He’d hit me so hard that he knocked my bottom teeth (4) into the top of my mouth. Not only could I not close my mouth, I was having difficulty breathing as well! For a moment I looked at him, and wanted to kill him, but in the split second between what was right, and what I knew would be wrong.
I sat there and watched as he rode off on his bike. I had been a few blocks from Laine’s house, so I went there and dropped the kids off and headed for the hospital, knowing full well that unless they had a dentist on site there was not a lot they would be able to do for me.
I got to the hospital and by now the pain was becoming more then I could bare. Not only was I embarrassed to say what had happened! I was more embarrassed to think what they must be thinking of me. I sat there for 2 hours hoping they could do something or at least give me something for the pain! As I waited I thought back on all the painful things Harry had done to me over the last five years.
Eventually two officers came in to see me, and the woman said to me that is a shame what some men will do. After telling the officers what happened, I finally concluded that I was better off to go on home and wait til morning to call my dentist.
First thing was go to the dentist, and after not having much sleep and being in pain all night all I wanted was for her to give me something to ease the pain. She took x rays and immediately sent me to an orthodontist who tried to re-secure my teeth. I went home that day in excruciating pain, but even more so I was still in total shock that the man I loved and married could do something so horrifying to me.
That day I was suppose to have gone to the mortgage company to start working on the actual financing, but after the ordeal I had just been through all I wanted to do was get some sleep!
Mommy had called the bank, and told them that I had been in an accident, so I didn’t have to worry about them thinking I was not going to go through with the financing. After being off work a few days I decided I had to get back, and do all I could to make the money I was determined to make to buy my own home.
Well if that wasn’t bad enough Mommy for whatever selfish reason decided that she could not handle keeping the kids anymore, nor was she willing to fix dinner or do anything else for them. When I came home she went on this big thing about not having enough food, and not having this, and that! So I told her that I would get our own food separate, and that I’d give her money to replace any food that my kids ate. knowing that that would set me back, I did it anyway cause I was more determined then ever to get my own place, and stay there with them until I did.
I went to work and I think my customers were either feeling sorry for me or the Lord was blessing me with all the right customers because my tips were getting larger and larger table by table. I was going home with some $75.00 a night or more, and I was gaining more and more confidence that I would be able to reach that $3,000 goal. I was losing a lot of weight because I was not really able to chew anything on my teeth without having a lot of pain. Well that was not such a bad thing because I certainly had put on more then a few pounds since I started at Red Lobster.
As the time went on the mortgage was getting well under way and the people at the mortgage company, were making it clear that they were gonna do all they could to help me secure the mortgage for the house.
Lois had start keeping the kids for me, and mommy was getting more and more distant as the days went by. But I was staying focused on what I had to do, and so I would see her roll her eyes at me and it was as if I didn’t see her at all. I had my teeth braced down for about 3 weeks, and an infection had start setting up in spite of all the precautions I was taking to prevent it.
On about May 9th I got a call from the detective ( Erskine) and he told me that he was appalled, and very saddened by what Harry had done to me. He gave me his word that he was gonna make sure Harry would not be able to hurt me again, and that he had gotten a warrant for his arrest, and he was gonna personally make sure that Harry either came to court on his own, or he was gonna go get him.
Still in a lot of pain and still very afraid I went to the court. With the support of Marilyn Pruitt and all the police I sat quietly as they read the charges and asked Harry how he plea, he pled guilty or no contest but either or the Judge ( Tarrant ) sentenced him to 90 days in jail for the assault he had done to me on Apr 3rd.
The Judge didn’t want to let him have work release, but after I assured her that I needed the support he had to pay she agreed to let him go back and forth to work. She also gave me permission; to go to his house and retrieve my dog.
After i left the court I felt a large since of relief. I continued to work daily and nightly making plenty of money, and getting more excited about the possibility of reaching my goal.
Mommy continued to be a trip, and not only that Lois, was proving that she was not the great babysitter she claimed she would be. But I pressed on pinching off the money here, and there to insure that none of them would be able to say I didn’t provide for my kids.
I would pick the kids up every night and listen with much sadness as they would tell me how their day went. If that wasn’t bad enough I guess Laine decided she wanted to get in on all the negativity, seems she and her kids would laugh at Nookie when she would go there after school and they would make fun of her and call her ” Little Orphan Annie” I would continue to tell the kids it wouldn’t be this way always, and I would beg them to hang in there til we got our chance to get away. The big challenge came when I finally couldn’t deal with all the discomfort in my mouth, and I went to the dentist only to find out that my mouth had got infected, and that I had to have my 4 bottom teeth removed.
The surgery went well but after the medication wore off the pain was enough to make me hate Harry, and want to kill myself. I went over Eddie and Marie’s house, and I sat there and cried as I listened to Marie tell Eddie that his friend was not as innocent as he kept trying to make him out to be.
I finally left telling her that I had to go lay down. I remember crying all night and even listening to the pain in the Dr’s voice when he called the next day to see how I was doing. I have never felt any pain like this in my life, and as God is my witness I hope I never feel this type of pain again.
I had been talking to Marie about this lady I had seen who told me a lot about my life. After talking me and Marie decided to make an appointment to see this tarot card reader named Ms Zimmerman.
I went to see her and as usual was amazed at what she told me. She said she saw me in a house painting, and she told me a few more things like there is someone somewhere crying because they felt bad about how they had been treating me, she said that that person wanted to apologize but was not sure if I would accept it.
Well not only did I get the house approved that same night Mommy came to me and asked me to forgive her for the way she had been treating me, and the kid’s. By all indications everything was coming together, and within a few days of seeing Ms Zimmerman I got approved for the house. I continued to work hard, and counting my way towards the day of closure. I felt good about what I was doing and I felt even better about all the negative things that was happening along the way. Cause what was important was that I did what Mommy Laine and no one else thought I could I got my Kids a HOME…..