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Chapter 7 Well seems that the situation was getting worse and worse as the days slowly went by. Tami was put in the hospital, and harry was still on this drinking and weed smoking binge. He was becoming more and more withdraw and harder to deal with.
Well seems that the situation was getting worse and worse as the days slowly went by. Tami was put in the hospital, and harry was still on this drinking and weed smoking binge. He was becoming more and more withdraw and harder to deal with. He would go for hours and days at a time not saying a word to me. I went to the hospital everyday and would sit there for hours dreading going home. Nookie was always gone over somebody’s house which was good, and I missed my baby being home. One day when I was preparing to go to the hospital, harry came and told me he was going to. I knew he was high and I didn’t want him to go there acting up. I said well why don’t you lay down, and he told me why don’t I shut up talking to him. he said that was his baby too, and like it or not he was going. On the way to the hospital he went on and on about me possibly meeting my man up there. I drove quietly and prayed he didn’t hit me or anything.
When we got to the hospital, he was really geeked up. No sooner then we got on the elevator he snatched my car keys. I asked him to give them to me, and he said he would when it was time to go. We went in to see the baby. he picked her up, and instantly seem to calm down. he was very attached to Tami, seems she had a very calming effect on him. Once he finished with her, and put her back in the bed, he instantly started in on me again. I had to finally end up having the nurse call the security. He gave them some flack but he left peacefully with my car keys. I sat there feeling like I just don’t believe this. But the reality was that it was happening. I thought after a few hours that he would come back, but he never did. I finally ended up calling a cab. I gave the security people my home number and they said they would call if he came and picked up the car. At about10pm Tony my brother-in-law called he said that harry was over there and that he had been getting high and talking with Shirley(my sister). He said that he had been asking harry to give him the keys, and that Harry had kept saying he would but never did.
The hospital called around 11pm and told me that I had to move the car or they would have to have it towed. I eventually told them that I had not gotten the keys and to go head and have the car towed to my home. Shortly after the car was towed home Tony came walking up with the keys. I told him this didn’t make any sense. It cost me 22.00 to have the car towed home. He said that he was upset with Shirley and that she never even tried to get harry to give up the keys. When he left I laid down I had a terrible headache and I was stressed completely out. I was awaken by the sound of bamming on the door. I peeked out the window and saw that it was Harry. I got the phone and called the police and told them he was out there trying to break in. When they came they told me he was not out there. I assured them that he had just been beating on the door moments before they arrived. They said they looked around and didn’t see anyone matching his description. No sooner then they left he was back. Beating on the door and seemingly scratching on the windows or something . I called them again and again they said they didn’t see him anywhere. They left and again he returned. This time he had let the air out of my tires, and it sound like he was trying to cut the phone wires. I called the police again. They came and said ma’am we have been sitting around the corner and we have not seen anyone around here. I told them he was there and I showed them where he had just let the air out of my tires. They also saw where he was trying to cut the phone lines. I told them I was afraid and that I didn’t have anywhere to go. I told them my baby was in the hospital and that harry was really getting on my nerves, scaring me with his behavior. I had called them alot of times and I knew sooner or later they would stop responding. Just then an officer came around to the door and said they had found Harry. He was hiding behind the garage. The officer said I figured he had to be close by, because they knew he could Not have been going very far. They took him to jail, and advised me to seek shelter with a family member or friend. They told me his bond would be 50.00 and that if he had that money with him , he could be out of jail within a few hours.
All night I sat up thinking about whether or not he would come back. I had not gotten any sleep and I was totally exhausted. I wanted to go to the hospital but the car was now on flats. It was too late to be calling anyone so I just sat up and waited to see if he would infact come back.
The next morning the hospital called, and told me that Tami could come home. A part of me was happy, but still a part of me was sad. I called my father and he came and put air in the tires. I went and picked the baby up and on my way in the house. I saw Harry coming down the street with his son’s. I thought oh Lawwwd please no more of this. He came in the house and said he had just came to get some of his thing’s. He told me he was really sorry and that he would leave and never bother me again. I didn’t say anything, as I was now realizing perhaps he was just looking for a reason to start fighting me again. he finally called a cab and left.
I talked to Mommy on the phone, I was telling her that harry seemed really upset about losing his house. She said that there are many other houses and that was no reason for him to be treating me the way he was. She said she knew a Realtor that sold houses and that she would call her to see if she had anything available. Harry had been gone a couple of day’s now, and I admit I was enjoying the peace and quiet. No sooner then I relished the thought, Harry came walking in the door. I was still on the phone with Mommy so I didn’t say anything to him. Mommy wanted to talk to him, so I gave him the phone. he was telling her that he was really sorry for what he had done , and he realizes I am not to blame for what he is going through. he told her that he just could not believe his family could do him the way they were. he said he is a man and wants nothing more then to provide for his new wife and family. Mommy told him about this Realtor, and asked if he was willing to look into buying another home. he told her the money was not the problem. Mommy made an appointment for us to go see this home. It was very nice, and in a nice neighborhood. The Realtor said we didn’t need alot of money, and that we could buy the house on landcontract. harry asked me if I liked the house, and told me he just wanted us to be happy. We signed the contract and went through the process of buying the home. Harry had seemed to be coming to grips with all that had happened. Infact we even finally consummated our marriage.
Shortly after signing the contract, we became the new owners of our very first home. Everything seemed to finally be going right for a change. harry had stopped being so angry, infact he signed himself into the hospital. He told me that he was so sorry for all he had done to me. And he promised he would not ever hit me again. He got out of the hospital a few days later, and we packed and moved into our new home.
Finally I thought, our own home. Now maybe we can get on about our lives. Everything seemed fine for the first couple of week’s. Then instantly it was back to the same. I was sitting in the living room, watching t.v and playing with the baby. harry was outside barbecuing and all seemed fine till his friend Jesse came by. I don’t know what they were talking about or what Jesse could have possibly said to him. I was trying to eavesdrop as I fixed me a plate. I went back into the living room, and began to eat my food. The next thing I knew harry came in the house, walked into the living room, and took my plate and threw the food in my face. I tried to get up and clean up the food, but he pushed me back onto the couch. I have no idea what was going on, all I knew was oh god here we go again. He went back outside as if nothing had happened. I cleaned up the mess, and just sat looking dumbfoundedly towards the back door. Jesse finally left, and he came back in and started in on me. I had a bottle of pop sitting on the floor by my feet. He picked up the bottle and threw the pop in my face. I pleaded with him to please leave me alone, and repeatedly asked why was he doing this to me. I told him that if he wanted me to leave I would, but that I could not continue to be hurt this way. He hollered this is my dam house, and you will not do anything unless I tell you too. I know that recently he had received some mail saying that his ex-wife was seeking a raise in her child support, and also it seemed that Debra had begun proceedings to start child support actions against him also. he had start becoming more and more angry seems he was always blaming me for whatever was happening to him. He seemed to really enjoyed terrorizing me always pushing me down. choking me, and yelling Bitch do you hear me do you hear me. Each time all I could do was buck my eye’s in terror, and try to make motions that yes I understood. When he get off me he always go’s and lay’s down, and I continued to sit there terrified, and wondering how I could escape.
Needless to say the pattern of abuse continued form that point on. I would call the police but they would tell me over and over there was not much they could do. One time I snuck money. I got in my car and went to my sisters house. He came there, threw me down, and demanded that I give him his money. This was starting to become a everyday occurrence, and it didn’t take me long to realize, there was no escaping his violence. In September I found out that I was pregnant again, and that I also had a problem with my kidney’s spilling too much protein. The Doctor warned me that my blood pressure was too high, and told me if I ever have a headache to get to the hospital immediately. None of this seemed to phase harry he continued to harass and blame for anything he could think of. He accused me of being pregnant by someone else. he said that I was a whore, and that I sucked men’s penis. I never understood why he would say anything like that to me, because I never cheated on him. Nor did I ever perform oral sex on him. The words he would say would cut deep into my spirit, and I often found myself trying to accept and digest what he would say.
I finally sought help at a shelter for battered women. He had beat me up and threatened to kill me. What happened was one day he was doing his usual drinking and just going off. I told him that I would call the police if he hit me, and that I thought it best if he just left. he picked up a fan and threw it at me, striking me on my back. I tried to flee into the bedroom but he caught me and drug me in there instead. he was yelling obscenities and hitting me. I sat in the corner next to the dresser. He turned the dresser over on me, and when he left I climbed out the window and ran. I called the police and told them he had beat and threatened to kill me, and that I had to flee and leave the children behind. They told me it was not much they could do, and so I told them he had molested my baby. They told me to stay at the store where I was calling from, and don’t come to the house until an officer came for me. I tried to see down to the house, and I watched as police car after police car went racing down to our home. I thought good that will get him away from me now.
An officer came to the store, and told me that Harry had been arrested. he said they could not charge him with molestation as of yet, but he said a social worker will call me. At first I was relieved, and soon I thought oh god what have I done now. They didn’t keep him in jail long, infact the same 50.00 bond applied. Later that night he called from the Motorcycle club and asked me why I had told the police he molested his baby. I told him that I was sorry, but that I was afraid, and didn’t know what else to do. he told me they treated him bad, and that all the officer’s glared and made comments about him. A part of me felt bad, but still a part of me thought good for you, now you know how I feel. He asked if he could come home, he said he was tired and just wanted to get some rest.
The next day I was visited by a social worker. Thank GOD she was someone I had already knew as a case-worker. I explained to her why I did what I did. She told me that I could lose my children if they investigated, and determined that I was covering up for the man. She told me that while it is true many men have been falsely accused, she said still many more men have gotten away because women love them or fear retaliation. I assured her that I had told a lie, and that I was very sorry. I told her that I just didn’t know what else to do, and all I wanted was for the abuse to stop. She told me she understood and that she would write up her report, and hopefully that would be the end of it.
Well a few days later he was back at it. And this time I sought the safety of a shelter. My experience was somewhat demeaning. I felt as if they were looking down on me. The young lady that helped me her name was Sheila. She seemed to like the children, but she gave me a sense that she felt I was a fool or something. After going through the intake. they gave me a room to sleep in. The next morning I got up, and there were other ladies and kids everywhere. This was all so new to me and different then anything I was accustomed to. The ladies were nice and really talkative, they shared stories of how they had been forced to flee for their lives.
I was there a couple of days, then one night I start bleeding. I went to the hospital thinking I may be miscarrying. They told me my pressure was dangerously high, but it appeared I was not threatening a miscarriage. I went back to the shelter, and just laid down. The next morning I told them that I just felt I had to go home. And I did. This was all so very different then anything I was use to. I found myself starting to deny that maybe it was not as bad as it seemed. I continued to pray the lord would fix this, and I continued to dread the next attack.
~~~~~~~End~~~~~~~~~ Stay Tuned For Chapter 8