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What? A baby For me? Chapter3
~~~~~~~~ What? A baby For me?~~~~~~ Chapter 3
September is here, and Nookie was gone back to school. She seemed happy to be back at school, and I was happy to have my days free again. I hadn’t been feeling to well so I made an appointment to see the doctor. He delivered the shocking surprise that I was pregnant. “Pregnant who me?” I could not believe it. After all these years I was gone be a mom again. “Oh Shoot” I thought, as my happiness quickly turned to anxiety. Harry left Debra for getting pregnant. “Oh my” I sighed thinking back to how unhappy Harry seemed, when he told me that she was having another baby. I knew this news was gone create a problem for us, but still for the time being I was happy. I went to lunch, and sat pondering my options over a plate of now cold French fries. Deciding how and when I would break the news to Harry. I wanted to have this baby, even if it meant breaking a vow I had made with myself. After many long sleepless nights as a single Mom, I promised myself that I would not have anymore children out of wedlock. I finished with lunch and went home. The silence in the now still house was replaced with the vision of a new little baby. Harry had already left for work. So at least for now, I had the freedom to enjoy my news alone.
All afternoon I went around rubbing my stomach, as if suddenly in was full babybloom. Harry came in lunchtime, and the first thing he asked, was if there was something I wanted to tell him. First I said “no,” and then I said “well yes.” We sat down and he informed me that he had already known that perhaps I was pregnant. He said that he was happy, and gave me a firm kiss on the cheek. I looked at him to see if I could see the look of discontent on his face, but there was no indication that he was not as happy as I knew I was. I told him that I would be willing to terminate the baby, as I knew how he felt about having any more children. Also I told him, I was very shocked to learn that this had happened to me. He said “baby I’m glad we are having a baby together, and I don’t want you to even think about terminating.” He said he was honored to father a child with me. Saying he could even tell me the exact time that I conceived. “Oh yeah” I said recalling one night when he said it felt like I took something from him. Thinking back now I never understood what he meant by that. But now I was on cloud nine, knowing that he had felt it when we made love and created this precious little life now growing inside my womb.
As the first months went by, Harry treated me very special. Everynight he’d lay his head on my stomach, and talk to our baby. He would cook for me and take care of my every need. He even moved me out of the old house I was living in, saying he did not want me sick in the winter. My home was very nice, but I agreed I could not stand another winter in there. We moved into another old house, and it also was very nice. The bedrooms were small but the rest of the house was fairly large. Everything was going well, with the exception of Harry’s now disappearances. Still he was my life, and when he was with me every day was like a Sunny day.
Christmas rolled around with lots of shopping, and menu planning. We both wanted to make sure that all our kids had everything they asked for. We had planned on having a wonderful Christmas this in fact would be the first year I actually cooked a turkey. His brother Ted had stopped over, and we enjoyed a Christmas drink with plenty of laughter and cheer. But the cheer vanished quickly, when Ted asked “Harry why did you leave Debra without any furniture?” A few weeks before Christmas for some reason unbenounced to me Harry had gone over to Debra’s and had removed the living room furniture and brought it to our home. I didn’t understand why he did that either, but he said ” well I told her she could keep everything else.” I knew she would be having her baby any day, and I thought why would he let her have the furniture all that time, and then at Christmas time take it away. The day he took the furniture from her, I called Debra and tried to talk with her. She was not happy to talk with me, and eventhough I felt I was trying to help, I knew that she was still very upset about our living together. She screamed into the phone ” bitch you done took my man, so you may as well have the furniture too”, and slammed the phone down.
Christmas was here and we seemed like the perfect family. Harry’s son’s were there and while the kids played I finished cooking while Harry watched football. After dinner, and while relaxing with the children, Harry suddenly jumped up and said he was taking the furniture back to Debra. I was surprised, but relieved as it was taking up alot of room in our home. Everytime I walked past the furniture I couldn’t help but wonder where those children were sitting, and if they even had a television to watch. He called his brother and together they took the furniture back to Debra. I waited for him to return but again no Harry. A few days later I took Stephon and Quincy home.
Harry finally came home, and the first thing he did was start apologizing saying he had stayed a couple of days at his sister’s. He said he needed some time to figure out what he really wanted, and who he really loved. Again he said it was me, and again I welcomed him with open arms.
New years eve his club had a party. I got all dolled up in a Black and gold dress and we went to the party celebrating our first new years together. We held each other close we as danced the night away. But I kept having this nagging feeling that something wrong. When we got home I suggested Harry call the hospital. I told him I had a feeling Debra had her baby. That feeling proved to be right. Debra had not only had her baby new years morning, she also had given birth to Harry’s first daughter. That was a double blow for me. The next morning I called the hospital and Harry was there. He came home later that day, saying he was moving back in the house on Maplewood. He said he didn’t want me to think it was because of her or the baby. Saying he saw the baby, but did not believe it was his. But still he felt he should go to the house, and wait for her to move. I didn’t believe him but I said OK. I didn’t hear from Harry for a few days, during which I became very depressed. After being there a few days Harry called saying he was not happy, and wanted to come home. Here we go again I thought.
In February Harry bought a new car well a new used car. Prior to that he had been driving my hoopty. We went and I picked out a beautiful baby blue Lincoln. He went to get financed, but when he picked up the car he never came home. Oh Lord !! I thought here we go again. Late that night I drove by the plant the car was there so I knew he had gotten it. I went home and waited but he never came home. A few days went by. Finally one night I went to the Motorcycle club, he acted happy to see me come in. I asked him where he had been. He rather smartly replied here and there. I said on so is this how U gone act now. I asked him about the money he had promised me to get my car fixed. he said he didn’t have any money, but that next week he would give me what I needed. I left and all week fell back into a heavy depression. The next Thursday night I went back down to the Motorcycle club this time I was rather upset. He had promised me and my car thanks to him was in serious need of repair. He said he didn’t have any money and did not intend to get my car fixed. I went outside and looked at his car I saw a brick picked it up and smashed the windshield. I said OK if that is how U want to be then get your own car fixed and I went home. I waited for the phone to ring, which it did early in the morning, he sounded as if he was crying. I told him that I was sorry I did that but that I was tired of feeling like he was just using me. We talked for awhile, and I could not help but feel I could hear a woman in the background. I asked him if he was alone and where he was he said he was at a phone booth. he told me he was giving someone a ride home and that he would be over. he never showed up, and again I said this guy is making me crazy. I knew I had to get a grip but it seem I just could not get myself together. A couple weeks went by without me hearing from him. Then one night he called to tell me he was in the hospital. he told me that he wanted me to come see him. I told him that I could not deal with the changes he was putting me through, but that I loved him and I would do anything I could to make him happy. he said it would make him happy if I came to see him. he also asked me if I would pick up his son’s and bring them as well. The next day I called their mom she said it was OK for me to get them she said she would drop them off. I fixed a big dinner and I waited for the kids to come. They never did finally I got in the car and went to the hospital. I saw what I thought looked liked Harry’s car leaving with a woman and some kids in there I said naaaa couldn’t be. I went up and I asked harry where was the car. he said that Debra had came and picked it up and she was suppose to take it and park it in the driveway on maplewood. Before I left the hospital Debra had came up there, at the time I was standing between his legs and he was rubbing my belly and kissing me. She looked rather surprised, and I looked at her the same. I told him that I was leaving. he said OK. I don’t know what happened but she left the hospital shortly after I did. he called me and asked me if I could come to the hospital and pick up the car. I told him I did not want to get involved anymore. Later that night his ex-wife called to apologize for not bringing the kids over, she said they had went over Debra’s house. I asked her how did that happen? I said I thought U two hated each other. She told me that Debra had called and told her that Harry wanted her to bring the kids there. She said when she asked the kids where did they want to go they said over Debra’s being they had not seen their little brother or met their new sister. Later Harry called and I told him that I could not deal with the stuff anymore. I told him that his ex was saying that she could get him back anytime she wanted and that Debra obviously was not going to go away. I said I was tired and that I would not continue to go along with this stuff. He told me that he was confused, but that he knew it was me that he loved. he said he knew nothing about the kids going over Debra’s and that he did not know why his ex would say anything like that. We talked for a long time, and again I found myself believing what he was telling me. I made up my mind that Debra and his ex were just trying to play head games with me, but clearly his actions were proving them to be silly wanna- be -in my shoes sister’s. We got back together and everything was fine. he took me to meet his mother finally, she was sickly but a very sweet woman. His brother had start calling me sister in law, and that too made me feel special. I liked his brother alot, and I thought he liked me too. I was growing larger and larger and the sex was becoming harder and harder. We had to try different things that were so new to me, and not so satisfying, but for him I would try anything. Well it was now April and all seemed back to the usual good days until. Yep he left me again. This time I didn’t mind so much as my baby was due in June and I knew if I could just get pass these last few months I would be back to my old self again. I was missing Harry everyday but everyday I told myself there was no way I would go through life playing those types of games with him and his women. I played with Nookie got back into playing cards with my friends and was starting to relax. Harry came by one day and to my surprise and dismay he had shaven off his beard. he looked real funny and ugly to me. I thought oh wow I can surely get over him now. He said that he wanted to come back home. I told him that I did not need him here. He asked me if he could take me shopping for the baby. I said that was not necessary. After some coaxing on his end I went. He bought lots of things I would surely need like diapers gowns and things like that. I had a baby bed so I didn’t need that. it was nice to be with him, but I already knew it would not last so I thanked him, and sent him on his way. He was back with Debra now, and he said although he was not happy. He knew he was doing the right thing by waiting her out. He said he she was suppose to be moving when school got out in June and that he was determined to be there until she did. I kept saying to myself oh yeah I done heard this so many times. But whatever and I went about trying to make myself as comfortable as I could for this last and final month of baby-baking.